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Dictionary for Mens Personal Ads |
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| Term | Translation |
| 40-ish | 52 looking for 25-yr-old |
| Athletic | Watches a lot of NASCAR |
| Average looking | Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back |
| Educated | Will patronize the shit out of you |
| Free spirit | Wants to bang your sister |
| Friendship first | As long as friendship involves nookie |
| Fun | Good with remote and six-pack |
| Good looking | Arrogant |
| Very
good looking |
Dumb as a board |
| Honest | Pathological liar |
| Huggable | Overweight with more body hair than a bear |
| Likes to cuddle | Insecure mama's boy |
| Mature | Older than your father |
| Open-minded | Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested |
| Physically fit | Does a lot of 12-ounce curls |
| Poet | Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on bathroom stall |
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Sensitive |
Cries at chick flicks |
| Very sensitive | Gay |
| Spiritual | Got laid in a cemetery once |
| Stable | Arrested for stalking, but not convicted |
| Thoughtful | Says "Excuse me" when he farts |
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Dictionary for Womens Personal Ads |
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| Term | Translation |
| 40-ish | 49 |
| Adventurer | Slept with all your friends |
| Athletic | No tits |
| Average looking | Has a face like a basset hound |
| Beautiful | Pathological liar |
| Contagious Smile | Does a lot of ecstasy |
| Educated | Banged her political science professor |
| Emotionally Secure | Medicated |
| Feminist | Fat ballbuster |
| Free spirit | Junkie |
| Friendship first | Trying to live down reputation as a slut |
| Fun | Annoying |
| Gentle | Comatose |
| Good Listener | Borderline autistic |
| New-Age | All body hair, all the time |
| Old-fashioned | Lights out,missionary position only, no BJs |
| Open-minded | Desperate |
| Outgoing | Loud and embarrassing |
| Passionate | Sloppy drunk |
| Poet | Depressive schizophrenic |
| Professional | Certified bitch |
| Redhead | Bad dye-job |
| Reubenesque | Grossly fat |
| Romantic | Looks better by candle light |
| Social | Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray |
| Voluptuous | Very fat |
| Weight/height proportional | Hugely fat |
| Wants soulmate | Stalker |
| Widow | Drove first husband to shoot himself |
| Young at heart | Old bat |
 Matchmaker: 5 Stars. Our highest recommendation! Free trial. |
 Great Idea! Free personal cards from Vistaprint. Use with private or anonymous email and/or phone number. |
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Very good, 4 stars
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